I’ve been struggling – I know – again – lately. It seems like I feel like I get my head above water, doing more than just getting by, and something happens and I am down again. Most times it’s things that I can’t or don’t talk about on here, but these things have me worried and not sleeping and worrying some more. It’s not all that fun, honestly.

I want to appreciate the summer.

I want to get out more.

I want to stop being so angry.

I feel like the summer is rushing by and I have not done the things I wanted to do – get out on more walks, run more, go to the pool with the kids more, go to the park more.

And I know I should not let this stuff get me down or worry about it. I know in the big scheme of things these people are angry and my life is actually going OK. My niece seems to be more settled in, my boys are my joy, and my husband is so very patient and understanding of me. I just still feel stuck.

I pick up this guy this weekend. He’ll have been gone from me for about 2 weeks. I miss him more than I thought I would. Oh I know, this time away has been great for him. I know he’s been spreading his wings and taking in some new found independence. I just can’t wait to hug him and I plan to keep on hugging him – as much as he’ll let me, so you hardly at all. But to have that laughter echoing throughout the house, makes my heart jump and I can’t help but smile.

So how has your summer been going?

This picture screams summer to me and brings back so many good memories from our trip to Atlanta. And what’s funny is that we are soon going to Atlanta to see family and meet the new niece. To make more memories. But I couldn’t leave this post without posting up some of my favorite moments from that trip in 2007…

Getting some Aunt A lovin’…

Nothing like sharing a beer with family…

Goofy summer grins, what could be better?

So here we come Atlanta, ready for some more magical summer moments…

A few weeks ago, C “graduated” from kindergarten. Now don’t get me started on this, but I do like the way his school handled it, without a lot of pomp and circumstance and with a lot of songs and clapping for the littles achievements. This I can get behind. Besides there is nothing better than seeing little ones singing that makes me smile. So way to go, C. As always, I am so proud of you and all that you did this year!

And ending the year with good friends and smiles – is just how it should be.

See the whole shebang, right over here. Enjoy!

PICTURE BY ALLENG, FOUND ON FLICKR

Do you ever have a picture in your mind how you’d like a holiday to unfold? What you’d like to see happen? I do- I think we all picture the iconic “holiday” moments and hope that we have them, in this way, these moments help us have memorable holidays. One of the best 4th’s of July I’ve ever had was last year. We were at the beach and we had my mom and her family (they lived there) and our good friend’s from Atlanta, were with us. We had a great big cookout. The boys handled most of it for us and we just assembled the plates and drinks. We ate outside on big picnics tables. There was much laughter and talking around the tables that evening.

As the light began to fade from the sky, we decided to hit the beach for the fireworks. We drove up the way a bit, hunted for places to park and found our spot. We dragged the kids and blankets and cameras out and settled in. As we waited we chatted and had to entertain the kids – they we antsy for the fireworks.

Finally full dark and the fireworks started, we chatted with our friends and sat there admiring the fireworks. C fell asleep, R loved the loud bangs, La was in awe. It was amazing to be there – to deal with the pains of parking, walking, entertaining kids – for the 20 minutes minutes of seeing the fireworks over the water. It was spectacular and a memory I’ll always have.

One that I hope gets repeated! What made it memorable was not the place, but the people. It was magic hanging there with our friends watching the show.

What was your best 4th?

To the man that makes me laugh, that holds me close, that gives me kisses, I hope you have the best day.

To the man that is the best father to my kids, that is strong through all of our life changes, I hope you have the best day.

To the man, that goes to the soccer games, the school pick ups, the work from homes, I hope you have the best day.

I hope you know how appreciated and loved you are, by all of us.

Even by the dog.

Happy Birthday, babe!