Some days are harder than others. Today I almost cried as I left you to go to work. How my heart breaks, to think that I might have been breaking yours. I know it is a good thing for you to go to school and to play and interact with the other kids, but my heart breaks when I see you by the gate, reaching for me. Crying for me. I want to run to you. I want to make it all better and make the world right with you.

Those are the days that I don’t want to go to work. That I want to shut the world out and hold you as long as you want me to. Those are the days that I want to ignore all the other demands in my world and just focus on you. I want you to know that I wish that I could. But I can’t. I have responsibilities to other people besides you and how I wish I did not some days, I do. And so I put on a smile. I wave, I flash you our sign, (the “I love you” sign) and I know that we will be OK. For I will come to pick you up and hold you like I never left and hope you understand the choices I make.